In Parliament:20th February 1735
Petition from His Majesty's Justices of the Peace for Middlesex:
'That the drinking of Geneva (gin) and other distilled spirituous liquors, hath, for some years, greatly increased, particularly among the people of inferior rank, thus debauching their morals, and driving them into all manner of vice and wickedness. Resolved: that the low price of spirituous liquors is the principal inducement to the excessive and perniciouis use thereof'.
The British Prime Minister David Cameron preaches a sermon of desiring to end the ‘scandal’ of binge drinking throughout our good nation and for the sakes and better health of our good selves. In the next budget, under the proposed policy, 'low-priced' alcohol will increase between 40p and 50p a unit. Cameron's own cabinet Ministers are in revolt against such measures. Education Secretary Mr Gove, in the fashion of a 19-Cenury Whig, described the plans as 'an assault on individual liberty.'
1810
'The member for Sussex, Mr. Fuller, entered the House in a state of inebriety, and too audibly mistook the Speaker for an owl in an ivy-bush. He was handed over to the Serjeant'.
Ex-Army officer and Labour MP Eric Joyce recently pleaded guilty in court to four charges of assault and affray, having, after indulging in the low-priced alcohol served on the premises, becoming quite drunk and attacking four other parliamentarians, head-butting a Tory MP amidst the fracas. The taxpayer subsidises MPs' bars and canteens to the tune of £5million per annum. In the Strangers Bar at the House of Commons a single of Scotch costs only £2.55, or a glass of Merlot just £2.35. A pint of bitter, to you my Honourable Friend, is £2.40.
Nothing or no-one has ever taken successful measures in the prevention of the British imbibing the demon drink, from days of Roman wine, the barbarians mead, to the day of the Chavs and their preferred alcopops. In a recent letter to the Daily Telegraph the writer Mr. James Fenton of Oxford states that 'drinking is already expensive and the desire to drink excessively usually comes simply from wanting to let off steam after a week at work, which provides the funds.' Implying that a tax on the purchasing price of alcohol will not have its intended effect. Finnish citizens report that a higher unit price leads to less consumption, so that when they do drink they have less of a tolerance, and become drunker faster, with unfortunate consequences.
Excerpt: 'Piccadilly Jim' by P.G. Wodehouse
Scene: A Man About Town, the morning after the night before, and his butler:
'Bayliss?'
'Sir?'
'A conviction is stealing over me that I am about to expire''Shall I bring you a little breakfast Mr James?'A strong shudder shook Jimmy. 'Don't be flippant Bayliss,' he protested. 'Try to cure yourself of this passion for being funny at the wrong time. Your comedy is good, but tact is a finer quality than humour. Perhaps you think I have forgotten that morning when I was feeling just as I do today, and you came to my bedside and asked me if I would like a nice rasher of ham. I haven't and I never shall. You may bring me a brandy and soda. Not a large one. A couple of bathtubsful will be enough.'
'Very good Mr James'
'And now leave me, Bayliss, for I would be alone. I have to make a series of difficult and exhaustive tests to ascertain whether I am still alive'.
The hangover. The lack of prevention, the quest for the cure. For the stricken individual, supine under the covers of the bed, contemplates the remains of the day without pink elephants, a pain of a certain magnitude behind the eyes, and the distress from the noise of the falling leaves. Comfort must be sought. Restorative medicine, food and aspirin, must be taken.
Mr. Fenton continues to writes and declares, rather sagely and of common sense, that 'if the Government wishes to curb this behaviour, the tax increase would have to be on bacon and Alka-Seltzer.'
